The Treatise of Inequity: The Commencement
by LizzyCullen7
Summary: In which true love is expressed in the most beauteous of ways. Rated M for language because I am paranoid.


Bella Swan is the most beauteous splenderific person of the world. Men see her and instantly fall in love at her feet of amazingness. But she didn't care. She strutted down the streets of Rome, Italy, where her glamorous house was. she loved the view of the Eiffel Tower from her window. Her butler came in and brang her a frosted drink. It was so super cool to be ultra rich Bella thought to herself. She could see from her window that men were drooling at the sight of her, so she snapped her fingers and had them killed instantly. She spread her ultra-cool wings out and flew to the moon where her summer home is. She lived happily ever after. The End.  
Cept not. Little did little Bellana know that beside her moon base window the super creep-tastic Lucius and Bellatrix Malfoy squatted, immensely pleasured at the site of Bellana's gyrating torso (she was breathing heavy, because there is more oxygen on the moon than earth, so you have to breath heavier to deal with it). Lucius was especially tickled by the titillating vista, and so he removed his hardwood wand from his pocket to partake in some luxurious longitudinal lusciouness. Bellatrix, the leader of the Malfoy harem, was deeply disturbed by the sight of her master's hardwood wand because it had nearly tripled in length, as wands often do, since they started to bathe Bellana's body with their eyeballs.  
In her state of vapid mortification, she leaped through Bellana's moon window, which Bellana did not notice, and crept up to Bellana's now vibrating ear lobe and whispered, "Ola, Bellana. I am here to show you my trix." THE END  
Cept really not. Becasue little did the Malfoy know, Edward fucking Cullen was standing just meters away, oozing sexual confidence. And he was way angry and jealous. As that pristine form stood, gazing magnificently onto the stupid malfoys, not having to worry about oxygen because he no have to breathe, he flex his bicep, and the shock wave that emanated out from his arm blew them all the way to Pigfarts. But Edward was not done. He ran up to Bellita, smoothed her feathers down - for they were all awry - and started to kiss her. It was the best kiss that had ever existed. Bella groaned into the kiss, as sparks exploded outwards from their bodies, and fluttered her heavily lidded eyes.  
"Oh Edward. You are the most magnificent human being on the earth. And the moon. And of all time. I love you." (well, all of time except for Dickaepolis she thought. But Edward didn't need to know about her secret tryst, as it happened 2,342,516 years ago.)  
"Bellanaitachiquita, you are the sexiest woman/vampire/flying/goddess that there is. I am so glad that you marryed me. Would you do it again?"  
"Of course darling Edikinz, but first we must pic a place. Somewhere romantic."  
"What about Istanbul?"  
"No. The Sun."  
And Edward understood exactly what she meant by the intensity flowing outwards from her eyeballs. And so they spread their wings and flew off towards the sun. The Actual End.  
Cept NOT REALLY. They flew to the sun, Edward riding on Bella's back, the beat of her wings jostling him up and down in a glorious pantomime of sex, his body was soothe and hard. Bella flip over in mid air and their clothes exploded off in paraxysms of incredibility. Deward wraps his legs around the hips and Bella screamed in sensational sentastions she had never feel before. The heat of the sun was no match to that of their passion, became cold.  
Jacob passionately kissed Renesmee. She was his soul mate, his other half, and she was the most beautific person on this planet and universe. He knew he loved her with all the worlds fire burning through his heart, but he was scared of her daddy, Deward. Deward didn't like people touching his daughter, and when he had walked into Jacob and Renesmee kissing the first time he had got so mad that he had esploded. Renesme was already three though, it wasn't like she was a baby anymore. So anyway, Jacob was makeing out with his super-mega-foxy-awesome-hottttt girlfriend, and the sun went out. Curious, he dropped her on the floor, and went outside to investigate. Luckily he was wearing his three wolf moon shirt, so when he went otuside and looked at the giant moon in the sky, his wearwolf instincts made him howl. But people didn't look at him funny because of his cool shirt. The moon was in the sky all the time, because the sun had gone out. He kept howling, and turned into a wearwolf. He felt something on his back. Apparently, Renesme had gotten up off the floor and jumped on his back. "Let's go to the amazon" she whispered romantically in his ear. he just howled some more and started running, flyign over the ground at .5 miles an hour, running supper fast towards the amazon, where he and renesmee had fabulous romantic adventures, adn Deward couldn't yell at them. The End.


End file.
